Doublespeak hear and there

 

The European Union

According to a pamphlet published recently by New Europe, a London-based think tank, the European Union is creating its own form of muddled communication. This jargon-based speech, often called "Brussels spout" or "Europeanese," can be found in the EU's publications or heard in the speeches of its commissioners. Some examples culled from various EU websites:

Some EU decision-makers are suffering because they have been "deresponsibilised."

An organisational chart is now called an "organigramme."

The Information Society Directorate of the commission has a section called "Integrated management of resources and horizontal questions."

Under reform plans: "In order to enhance the visibility and understanding of EU action, and the complementarity and consistency between the various community policies affecting human resources,  valuation procedures will be improved and rendered more systematic."

Neil Kinnock, vice-president of the commission, suggests his strategy for reform: "The reform strategy proposals identify the ways to efficiently integrate assessment of resources with decisions on positive and crucially negative priorities. A system of activity-based management will be introduced, facilitated by strategic planning and programming arrangements. . . ." He also suggests the "quasi-abolition of ex-ante visa controls."

For help in deciphering this language, Richard Woods, in an article in the London Times, offers a Dictionary of Europeanese:

citizens: those who have no vote in the appointment of European commissioners

flexibility: the art of increasing control from the centre while pretending to do the opposite

harmonisation: means of causing discord by riding roughshod over political and cultural differences

tranquillise public opinion: fool most of the people most of the time

asymmetric bilateralism: you scratch my back, I'll hold a reflection group on whether to scratch yours

reflection group: talking shop in 11 languages

(The [London] Sunday Times, 14 May 2000)

Deciphering Crime Reports

If you've ever wondered what the real story was behind a sensational crime report in the newspaper, you will find the following dictionary, compiled by police communications officer Mark Ronburgh, to be useful. Some examples from his Idiot's Guide to Crime Reports:

shootout: one shot fired

crossfire: one shot from either side

hail of bullets: more than one shot

prominent city businessman: cafe owner

business tycoon: owned two cafes

bullet-riddled body: shot twice

hacked to death: stabbed more than once

crime wave: two similar offences

community in terror: crime occurs there

daring heist: robbery during daylight hours

execution-style: shot in the head

manhunt: police are seeking . . .

extensive manhunt: . . . in more than one station area net is closing. . .: investigation continues

gruesome find: body discovered

police brutality: suspect handcuffed

(Argus, 9 March 1999)

Education According to an AP story in the Columbus (OH) Dispatch, the Kentucky Education Department has removed the word evolution from their educational guidelines and replaced it with the phrase "change over time." The reader who submitted this item wonders if they will soon change the Theory of Gravity to the Theory of Things Falling Down.

Public Safety

The interstates around Winston-Salem, North Carolina, are marked with signs noting where the "Incident Management Assistance Patrol" area begins and ends. One wonders if the average driver pondering the meaning of this sign promptly becomes an incident?

Art?

Sandbox, a magazine dedicated to "graff culture," ". . . brings you work by artists actively engaged in reclaiming public space." And some call it vandalism. . . . (The Columbus Dispatch, 1 April 2000)

Sexual Harassment or Free Speech?

In a letter to the editor of the University of Oklahoma's student newspaper, David Deming, associate professor of geology and a self-described gun owner, mocked a columnist's arguments for gun control, saying that "her possession of an unregistered vagina also equips her to work as a prostitute and spread venereal diseases," and that he hoped she "is as responsible with her equipment as most gun owners are with theirs." Although the university originally planned a disciplinary hearing on Deming's remarks, those plans were dropped when Deming threatened a First Amendment lawsuit. University attorneys advised that Deming would inevitably win such a suit. (Chronicle of Higher Education, 8 May 2000)

A Violent Double Standard

According to an article in Said It (a feminist newsletter) by Adriene Sere, recent protests against the World Trade Organization were reported on rather unevenly by the media. She writes:

Vandals smashed a dozen corporate storefront windows. The police smashed faces into sidewalks. Vandals spray painted downtown walls. Police threw tear gas canisters and shot rubber bullets into crowds of peaceful protesters. . . .

. . . The media used the word "violence" again and again in their coverage of the protests against the WTO, but only to describe protesters, not police, . . . The corporate media completely avoided the word "violence" when describing police actions, even when referring to the one-on-one police brutality caught on videotape. The police violence against the nonviolent, nonvandalizing crowds was a "crackdown," "a new strategy," (believe it or not) a "patient accommodation of dissent," and "handling of protests." The one-on-one police brutality was described as "excessive force," "harsh tactics," "mishandling of protesters," and "alleged police misconduct." Throughout the coverage of protests, the media characterized police aggression as more or less an appropriate response to the "violence" of the protests. (Said It, December 1999)

Humor

Some T-shirt slogans seen in a recent advertisement:

I'm not a hunter, I'm a wildlife population control specialist.

I'm not old, just youthfully challenged.

The World of Work

Raymond O. Mills, running for office in the 70th Assembly District in Orange County, California, listed his job title as "personal transportation facilitator." That means he drives a taxi. (Los Angeles Times, 8 March 2000)

When Brown University wanted to scale down their employee recognition ceremony, they went from an awards luncheon for employees with 10, 20, or 25 years of service to an afternoon reception for only those employees with 20, 25, or more years of service. The change was announced as the "seeking [of] new ways to refresh and revitalize ... traditions" and a "new and improved service awards afternoon reception."

Political Scandal

Germany's Christian Democratic Party (CDU) has been accused of accepting millions of dollars from the French government of Francois Mitterand to support former chancellor Helmut Kohl's 1994 re-election. German ARD Television reported that Mitterand, arranged payment of $US 15.7 million to the CDU. According to the report, this money was allegedly part of $US 44 million in bribes paid by the French oil company Elf-Acquitaine for its 1992 purchase of the former East German Leuna refinery. Sources close to Mitterand are quoted as saying the money was not a bribe, but was intended to serve "state interests for Europe." (The (Sydney) Australian, 25 January 2000)